A Cheery Christmas Update

It’s very much the fashion these days to write letters to include in your Christmas cards that update your friends and family on the events in your life over the past year.
With that in mind, I wanted to share some of the events in my personal life from the past year.
Melissa and I bought a new house.
We moved.

I *&$(@% hate moving. If my hatred of moving was water, I’d be the Pacific Ocean.

Since the move, I can’t find any of my stuff.

Melissa’s stuff is everywhere, further preventing me from finding my stuff.

She says I have too much stuff anyway, and maybe it’s a good time to get rid of some of it. I tell her that under no circumstances do I want her even thinking about touching my stuff.
She says, “Okay, Mr. Grinch.”

There’s a papier mâché elephant and a plant that I don’t like in my office that Melissa says there’s no other place for so I have to keep them in my office and if I’d just help out around the house a little bit more maybe she would have more time to find space for things like papier mâché elephants and plants that dribble some kind of white pollen all over the floor because heaven forbid that I push the sweeper or pick up my underwear off the bedroom floor which is totally unfair because it’s right by the laundry basket and how much trouble is it for her to pick up anyway since I’m the one who has to climb into the attic to find the Christmas lights that only a total *$Y$*%# idiot would climb up on these steep roofs to hang.

Other than that, everything is great.

Merry Christmas.


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